Friday, September 02, 2005


I've been following the circus in New Orleans with some interest. I will pass myself as something of an expert in such things... we had three hurricanes pound our homes in Central Florida last year. The wind blew and the trees all fell down and the phones went out and the lights went out and we all generally were mega-screwed for weeks and even months until we worked our way out of the mess. And a whole lot of people are still trying to get their roofs on their double wides fixed. The most common sight around here is those Chinese blue tarps spread across the roof while the children are sleeping in all too soggy bedclothes tonight... even after months and months of damage control. But through it all I never saw any looting or mayhem or whining or complaining. Nobody ever blamed the government for not flying in boxcars of hot meals and air conditioners. And we needed them BAAAD! Nobody expected the Feds to come down and pick anyone up at the T.D. Waterhouse Center or provide limo service to and from the Tangerine Bowl. What's with these whiners?

The question that first comes to my mind is -- what would I do if I was confronted with this disaster? What exactly would I do? Well, I would not go downtown and sit on my ass waiting for President Bush to come get me. I would gather up my wife and kids, and I would load up the wheel barrow or whatever I had to tote my worldly goods away from the drowned neighborhood that used to be home... and I would start hoofing it to higher ground. The last thing I would do is sit there and wait... Wait for what? What are they waiting for? A rebirth of wonder?

Hey... pack it in guys! While you are sitting around the corpse that used to be the Big Easy your children are starving to death! This is a fundamental fact that refugees the world over have learned time and after time since the first time the villagers noticed a group of Goths on the horizon fingering their swords and leering at your daughters. Get out of town dummies!

These losers are so used to the gimmie-gimmie culture that they were raised in that they are allowing mad dogs to take over their lovely city. They are standing outside the hospital watching thugs shoot at policemen and instead of lending a hand by killing a few of the damned vermin they're whining about how George Bush isn't helping them get the air conditioning back on fast enough. What's with these idiots? We Floridians had a whole string of terrifying storms tear us a new one last year... and we never had a breakdown of civil authority. What's wrong with these dorks?

I've got a few ideas. First, let's accept the fact that the mayor of New Orleans and the governor of Louisiana should be summarily sacked. They've done NOTHING. No leadership. None. It's not George Bush's job to provide protection and maintain civil authority. Those are local things. The Feds can help, and they will, and are. This was a managable situation and FEMA was all lines and pre-staged for the entry into the city. But the morons in New Orleans parish released all the prisoners in the jails because they might have gotten wet sneakers if they had stayed in the pokey. Hey... morons! Now you're wondering who is shooting at the cops outside of the hospital? How stupid are you? Jesus!

Second, if you're stuck for transportation how about scrounging up a boat? I saw thousands of private boats that had gone astray in the storm. Why not gather up your kids and put some rags up in the air and head for Texas? Oh, no... you'd rather sit in your own shit and watch your wife get gang raped by hoods and your daughters get gangbanged by the criminals who were let out of the parish lock up. Duh!

What it comes down to is this --- how about you dingbats helping yourself a little bit?