~
From DAN GILMARTIN ---


Nursing Home

Ethel was a bit of a demon in her wheelchair, and
loved to charge around the nursing home, taking
corners on one wheel and getting up to maximum
speed on the long corridors. Because the poor
woman was one sandwich short of a picnic, the
other residents tolerated her, and some of the
males actually joined in.

One day, Ethel was speeding up one corridor when
a door opened and Kooky Clarence stepped out with
his arm outstretched.
"STOP!", he shouted in a firm voice. "Have you
got a license for that thing?"
Ethel fished around in her handbag and pulled out
a Kit-Kat wrapper and held it up to him.

"OK" he said, and away Ethel sped down the hall.

As she took the corner near the TV lounge on one
wheel, Weird Harold popped out in front of her
and shouted, "STOP! Have you got proof of
insurance?"

Ethel dug into her handbag, pulled out a drink
coaster and held it up to him. Harold nodded and
said, "Carry on, ma'am."

As Ethel neared the final corridor before the
front door, Crazy Craig stepped out in front of
her, stark naked, holding a very sizable erection
in his hand ...

"Oh, Good Grief," said Ethel, "Not the
Breathalyzer again!"