Wednesday, December 14, 2005


I might as well admit it. I hate Christmas. Aside from the mawkish sentimentality of the season as well all the deliberate pandering to unfulfillable wishes and the subsequent adjustable accomodation to good intentions... it's also the time of year we all set aside to lying to ourselves and to each other. Example: most people know that I don't drink much. I'm careful to say that because several of my best friends, women who are important to me... make good livings by lubricating the general public. But in my business I find myself rubbing up against a number of attorneys and the guys invariably feel obliged to send me a gift of a bottle of hooch this time of year. Now that would be OK if the guys were actually intentional in the effort. I'll take a drink with them if they really want to lift one with me, but I get these boxes... pre wrapped by the lizards at the ABC store no doubt... of booze because the giver thinks that they "should" send me a gift. Not so boys!

All I want for them to do is properly represent my clients in the courts and at least give lip service to honesty, probity, and all that good stuff. My personal attorney and I agreed years ago to forego the gift giving ritual. But.... he still remembers my birthday... as do I has, as well as the birthday of my kid, and a few others. Nice guy... and the best criminal lawyer in Orange County. Want a referral? Happy to oblige you. But... save the gifts for a more meaningful venue.

I know... I know.... Bah, humbug. I appreciate the intentions, but most of these guys don't really want to do more than just wish me a "Merry" then they can move on to the more serious business of raping the system.

Actually, my antipathy towards the season pre-dates my time as a bondsman. It comes from teaching school: pitiful creatures that they all are. I taught school for about twenty five years and Christmas was a very unforgiving time of year for these folks. They want desperately to be middle class, but they ain't. Most teachers make around thirty K a year, that's just above the povery line. Teachers and cops both are just above the cutoff for food stamps. But over and over I met teachers who would actually borrow money so that they could pretent to be middle class for Christmas, blow a bunch of money on gifts and then spend the rest of the year repaying the credit card company for their foolishness.

Just gives me a giant pain in my ass. That's all.Sorry. I'm really not a bah-humbug type, it just gives me a pain in my ass.